post-birthday post!!

my birthday is officially over,, :)

but it is very fun ytd.. 

Totally shock and surprise when my colleagues planned a stay caution for me!!

Let me start from 27 Jan 2016.. 

went out with fanni, yi xue, peggy and hana for a celebration..

the food at charlie brown cafe @ cineleisure is just so-so.. 

but since hana like...

so i am okay with it.. :) 

have some chit chat and take home my ba gua from, Yi Xue...

 the old brand: Lim Chee Lin.. 

yummy!!! :P 

Stay up for the night.. 

was actually hoping for a birthday msg that nv come... 

it really let me know where i stand...

not even friend... 

if you ignore me, i decide to not wait around not even friend, i wont bug you or talk to you anymore.. 

as simple as that.. 

sure it is going to be hard and it is going to hurt me real back.. 

but it will not hurt as much as being ignores.. so i think i deserve better than that.. 

i will move on and find someone that is for me and who actually cares about me... 

and the worse part is my ah ma telling me that she is busy.. 

not able to go zoo with me despite me telling her long ago.. 

my mood totally went down.. 

i dun understand why... 

actually what i am hoping for.. 

i really dont know...

emptiness filled me.. 

i felt that i am being give up.. 

heartbroken.. 

i didnt want to talk to anyone about it... 

 it make me felt very unimportant all... 

so i just kept quiet through but my ah ma seem to catch my mood and told me that she will go... 

 but when the mood is spoil.. it is spoil...

sometime i feel that humor seem to hide my depression well from everyone.. 

and it make some of me to be better.. 

sometime when you are good to someone.. 

it just becoz he is your friend... 

Love is a long life commitment that i will not jump into it again... 

so i will just wait.. 

well... let me go to ytd (28 Jan 2016).. 

which is the actual day of my birthday..

so i went to zoo with my ah ma.. 

actually i am already half hearten.. 

since i slept late the day only at 3 am.. 

,

brought my ah ma out to take train and bus.. 

it is actually very smooth.. 

we reach the market and the bus come.. 

to reach zoo.. 

we only took 45 mins instead of the  1 hr and 15 mins.. 

save 30 mins.. 

woohoo... 

haha..after that went to take the ticket.. 

free!!! <3 div="">

so we went to the River Safari.. 

walk ard and went to see the Panda.. 

and the best surprise is when both panda came out to play..

woohoo..haha... :) 

so we are sure lucky.. i think it is becoz of 2 birthday gals there..

haha.. 

well many memories came back... 

and i told myself...

face it and move on..

after that we went to the Zoo.. 

it is free too!!! :O

shocked..

 dun be... 

but only managed to finish half as it is really tiring...

and well i am with a 80 plus yr old granny.. 

so ya.. can not go too far... 

told ah ma to take cab but she wan to save money.. 

so we took bus and train again... 

we are lucky as it is raining heavily.. 

but when we reach.. it stop..

after sending my ah ma back home.. 

i went out to meet sheena they all for my second round of celebration..

the funny thing is that i went to bugis to meet them for movie..
as they had planned... 

guess what they are late.. so i went walking ard.. 

until sheena called mi..

she told me we have to go somewhere.. 

so i took a cab with her and was blindfolded..

suspected something go on..

and she refuse to say anything..

after that i got out a cab and this sheena bring me merry go round..

haha... 

keep hitting the wall.. 

and the one that give her away.. 

tapping the card for lift.. i got this problem so many times..
so i am sure that it is a hotel.. haha..
tap card to use lift.. :P 

but really surprise by my kakaks and the rest..

haha.. :) 

really really super love them..

the best birthday celebration for my 27 years... 

den we play throughout the night..

can you believe it that all of them took leave and time to prepare this staycaution just for me.. 

knowing that i will have no one to spend with for my this yr birthday!! T.T 

i love them all to the bits..

really do.. :)
am super touched for their kind gesture.. 

den today i got back from staycaution..

totally battery drain.. not working at all..

haha... 

so came back home and do cleaning up.

haha..

oh i forget to cat walk for my boots... haha.. 

later den i go and take photo..

I wish time can turn back..
why so fast i am already 27... T.T

saw his post about the entry.. 

so i am a mistake that he had make.. 

well.. i accept it.. 

it is a mistake in the first place..

a mistake i make for giving that chance which i shd not have...
blame myself.. 

that is why my ah ma told me that i have to move on..
i love my family, friends and colleagues.. 

My birthday! ;)

Today marks the day of my birth!!
Everyone is brought to this world for a reason!! So am I...
I thank god that I have you in my past 8 YRs..

But this year is the year where I stand alone!
It Mark my independence day! I can do it...

This year I hope to have a good life ahead! With every little good things happening to me..
Be it health,career, education, relationships and life.. I wan a many super duper good years ahead...

I am going to the zoo today!! As in I wan to see my animal! Be it with my Ah ma or alone!
I wan to enjoy myself and no worries ahead! :)

Photos will be later when I am free kay!! :)

Although I still miss that time.. But I know I have to grow up and start a new life! :)
Like you say.. There is no turning back once the decision is made... :) I agreed to that..

we shall see...

so that this week is my birthday week..
and i am totally pack on my weekdays night and weekends with meeting up friends and family..
thank you all for the loves despite me being so broken...

talk to my ah ma ytd about my feeling..
she dont get it..
seem simple, if you wan to break just let it go and forget it..
if i just started, at least not so bad. .
but 8 yrs...
i dun noe how to ease that part of my life from my memory..

i try and really wanted too..
but i think i still need some time..
watching jay chou last last concert..
trust me.. it is the most happy concert i have went...
sometime it just dun matter who is having the concert but the one that accompanying you to watch.,.
it holds many memories for me as i watch it twice.. :)

den i decide to listen to the songs again ytd...
my two fav songs.. :)

想回到过去

盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
一转身孤单已躺在身旁
想回到过去 / 试著抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你的看的世界 / 想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

沉默支撑跃过陌生 / 静静看着凌晨黄昏
你的身影 / 失去平衡 / 慢慢下沉
想回到过去

能不能給我一首歌的時間

#雨淋濕了天空　毀的很講究
你說你不懂　為何在這時牽手
我曬乾了沉默　悔的很衝動
就算這是做錯　也只是怕錯過
在一起叫夢
分開了叫痛
是不是說　沒有做完的夢最痛
迷路的後果　我能承受
這最後的出口在愛過了才有#
*能不能給我一首歌的時間
緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠
在我的懷裏你不用害怕失眠
哦~　如果你想忘記我也能失憶
能不能給我一首歌的時間
把故事聽到最後才說再見
你送我的眼淚　讓它留在雨天
哦~　越過你劃的線我定了勇氣的終點*
哦　你說我不該不該　不該在這時候說了我愛你
要怎麼證明我沒有說謊的力氣
哦　請告訴我　暫停算不算放棄
我只有一天的回憶
你說我不該不該　不該在這時說了愛你
要怎麼證明我沒力氣
告诉我暂停算不算放弃
我說我不該不該　不該在這時才說愛你
要怎麼證明我沒有力氣
我只有一天的回憶


so i will just wait for the next right one to come.. :) 
and i think one fine day i will just be fine.. 

but i think this year is really a new start for me..
i will overcome all and come out as a winner... 
i can do it! ;)

shall see if i have time to update my birthday celebration this week a not.. 
if not sorry readers,, 
you might have to wait until i am free.. :) 

my emotions...

my grandma is not doing well this few days..

so went to pray with her at Guan Ying ma there..

i just wan her to be in good health... 

and the rest i dun wan to talk le.. 

i hate it when i have no one to talk to when i am facing problem..
i hate that there is no listening ear when i need advise..
i hate it when there is no one to cheer me up, stand up for me, clear the air for me..
i hate that i lost my best friend, a listening ear and someone that is able to cheer me up...

i may have many friends but when in times of needs..
i realise that it is so hard to find someone that can trust and believe in me..

reality check..
things are not what they seem to be but ppl choose to believe rumours den to use their brain and think..
so i conclude that ppl are lazy coz they choose the easy way out...

my point of view.. 

that is it..

i will not explain anymore..
i really think it is none of my business.

keep the bloody comment to yourself..
coz i dun think i have done any wrong..

i am standing strong with my faith and there is nothing to explain as i have nothing to hide..

ranting on..

Back! :)

let talk about my personal life.. 

these few days are in total havoc.. 

let start with saturday..
came back to office.. work work..
and then went to the motor road show 2016...
woo.. blow your mind off.. the queue is a killer.. can not even see the tail..
so took some photo outside and went back home..
haha..

as for sunday..
lays ard in my bed until 9am..
haha.. wondering when i will be able to get my full term rest..
but nvm.. woke up..
went to bugis..
ask about my career and studies...
wondering if i shd go for Master in Maritime studies in NTU???
but the money is kind of keeping me off..
i think i shd but the money... O.O

after the praying.. went back to office..
i am a workaholic.. so what..
haha..
well..
augustine is also in the office.. >.<
so i am not the only one.. haha.. :)

trying very hard to clear up my filing..
but it seem to not going down..
T.T
my life is sad..

rushing home at 4pm..
coz Chief and Mdm ask me to go dinner to celebrate their birthday..
so Sir JJ, Wei Xin, Lopez and richard with chief and family go for korea bbq..
well.. i clear up the misunderstanding of he not letting me go back to TKD..
actually is i not going down due to i forget all my patterns already and to avoid some other things..
but it is just purely on me and nothing to do with him..
i dun noe if they understand a not.. but i felt the need to clarify...
i dun wan to create anymore misunderstanding as i am really tired of it..
hope they can stop it.. -.-

so after that i went straight home to iron my clothes..
and back to office on Monday..
haha,,

while i am back to office..
something happen..
i dun understand why.. but i can feel that zaleh they all are moving out from me..
as in we used to talk and joke like nobody business..
but after the incident.. i felt that we are not longer in the same frequency.

there is nothing going on between me and Mr. Ali...
NOTHING!!!!!
you all dun understand me at all..
if you are someone close to me.. be it family, friends or bf..
i will have stand up for you if i think that you are not what others talking abt..

i dun side anyone..
i just think that if it make sense and your character proven wise..
i will just choose to believe you..
i am not someone that will just go for benefit regardless of fact..
always GIVE people the benefit of doubt before you judge a person..

keep an open mind..
i wun say over trust but at least listen to the explanation..
stubborn ppl will reject explanation and think they are right..
that will be up to them..
but i felt being attacked for no reason..

got my appraisal on tuesday..
well.. as can see i am getting better..
so ya..
but i think there are still many areas for improvement.

but something happen in the office that make a bunch of us fall out. .
why it happen..
i can not say.. you will never understand a person heart..
as they can talk in front of you good things.. but backstab you behind..
i have not been a backstabber..
so i think i will not call anyone backstabber..
just to avoid any misunderstanding..
but sometime misunderstanding also can kill..

and the drama continue until wednesday..
which is ytd..
i have been told abt something..
but i just lend a listening ear..
i dun see that i have make any mistake..
but keeping silent is not a solution..
i felt very unfair to me...
but if the person involved refuse to speak the truth..
what can i do..
avoid the person??
i dun noe what i can do now..

at a lost..
and i dun understand why everyone is saying that i attract different skin color guys. .
i am not and will not be..

i think i will continue it later or tomorrow..

My Advance Birthday Celebration @ Pasir Gudang!

okay.. so i think i blog about going to Pasir Gudang for seafood feast ytd,,

and let me continue the story from there.. 

we all left office at 5.30pm.. 

self declared time off.. 

but since we all come early..

so we go back on the dot.. haha..

a bit of jam in the custom..
but all are well.. :)
and you wun believe.. the car is super!! :)
i felt like a super star in such a starex!!
a very big THANK YOU to Mr Ali for all the planning and coordination..

we reach the restaurant ard 8.30pm...
ya.. late dinner.. but the food was super!! :)
i order as Mr. Ali give me the honor of doing so..
and i cannot shift away from my crabS!!
yup.. so we have fish, prawn, crab, sotong.. you name it we have it!!
haha..

it is really generous of him,.,
which make me think back.. i used to have a boy that is generous to my request...
but well.. shift out from there..
haha...
so we have a very sumptuous dinner and Mr. ali was very kind to help me peel the crab!!
i am eating all the pincers!!! since no one else are eating ma.. haha.. :)

and den this is where the surprise come from..
Mr. Ali keep insisting on the fruits.. but we are like..
" DUN NEED LA MR ALI!! WE ARE ALL VERY FULL ALREADY!!"
but he insisted and we let him..
haha..

after that.. i saw a very big box and the waiter is walking over to us. .
i was think.. why the waiter is bring us a box instead of fruit. .
i have my reserve..
but the next moment.. i got the whole picture..
Mr. Ali had actually order a cake for me..
so it become my advance birthday celebration!! :)
well,, i am surprise, touched and very very happy..

excluding the part where i am being smash in the face by my our birthday cake by augtinus and sheena..
the two of them watch out.. :P
i shall have my revenge on their birthday!! haha..
but overall i felt very very happy..

i think this year there are many new challenges for me and i have to get back to being independent on my own as i have rely on him too much.,.
well as can see that he is getting on with his life well.. i will have to move on too..
have many pictures and videos but i am super lazy to upload.. haha..
sorry ppl.. you all just have to wait for it.. since good things are worth the wait.. haha.. :)

and ytd was 15 Jan 2016.. my heart don't hurt that much now.. :)